By Syed Majid Gilani
Syed Mohammad Yousuf Gilani was born on 15 April 1934 at KhanquahMoulla, Srinagar, to Maulana Syed Mohammad Yasin Shah Gilani, a respected religious scholar and Unani practitioner. He was the youngest, the fourth child in the family.
From an early age, he showed a deep interest in learning. Under his father’s personal guidance in religious education, he pursued both formal academics and Islamic studies, eventually earning qualifications and the titles of Aalim, Maulvi, and Fazil. Known for his discipline, knowledge, and character, he later became an educationist.
He passed away on 27 July 1979 at the age of 45 due to complications arising from stomach ulcers.
His life, however, was not easy.
In 1949, at the age of fifteen, he was married. His wife, only fourteen at the time, was his cousin. Both families lived in the old locality of KhanquahMoulla in Srinagar. Their bond began in familiarity and tradition, slowly growing into affection, understanding, and deep emotional attachment. He loved her sincerely, and her presence brought him quiet comfort.
But life soon began to test him.
He struggled to earn a stable income. His earnings were small, and living in a large joint family added silent pressure. Though no one spoke harshly, there was an unspoken expectation that he should do better. That quiet atmosphere weighed heavily on him. He did not want to become a burden and often felt a sense of inadequacy.
His wife also encouraged him to find better opportunities. Her words were gentle, but they touched his pride. He began to feel the need to rise above his limitations for the sake of his family.
When his first son, Syed Iftikhar Gilani, was born, his heart filled with both joy and fear. Holding his child, he felt the full weight of responsibility. He wanted to give him a better life, free from struggle, but he did not know how. This thought stayed with him constantly.
After deep internal struggle, he made a painful decision.
Still very young, he left his home in search of education and better opportunities. It was not a choice of comfort, but of necessity. He believed that by leaving, he could one day return stronger and provide dignity to his family.
The night he left was the hardest moment of his life.
His wife and his forty, day, old son were asleep. Quietly, he went to his child, kissed his forehead, and stood there for a long time. He did not wake them, knowing he might not be able to leave if he did. With tears in his eyes, he stepped into the darkness carrying hope, pain, and uncertainty. He left with a few clothes, limited money, and his educational certificates.
Life took him far away from home.
In a completely unfamiliar environment, he survived alone, without family, comfort, or emotional support. He taught tuition during the day and studied whenever possible. Slowly, through perseverance and sacrifice, he built a stable life and eventually secured a government teaching position.
From the outside, life appeared settled.
But inside, he remained deeply lonely.
He constantly thought of his wife and son. Letters became his only connection to home, carrying his love, pain, and longing across distance. Through writing, he lived moments of home that reality had taken away. At times, he also expressed his emotions through poetry.
Eventually, he asked his wife and son to join him. She once agreed and prepared to leave with hope for a new beginning. She even adorned her hands with mehndi, but at the last moment, family pressure, especially from her mother, stopped her, and she remained behind. The dream of reunion collapsed silently.
Later, her family asked him to return permanently, but he hesitated. Fear of losing his job and concern about social judgment kept him away.
Years passed, seven long years of separation.
During this time, his health deteriorated. He developed severe stomach ulcers, worsened by emotional stress and loneliness.
Eventually, under family pressure, his marriage ended in divorce. It was not his wish, but he could not prevent it. The life he had tried to hold together slowly fell apart.
Despite this, his love did not end. It transformed into silence, memory, and lifelong pain. People suggested remarriage. At first, he resisted, but later he accepted responsibility again. Still, a part of his heart always remained with his past.
His greatest sorrow remained his son, Iftikhar.
He could not see him grow, guide him, or share even a single moment of life with him. That absence became a permanent wound in his heart.
Over time, when Iftikhar reached adolescence, fragments of truth began reaching him through letters and family conversations. Understanding came slowly. What once felt like abandonment began to appear as sacrifice.
Yet the father and son never met again. They never saw or spoke to each other in life. Their bond survived only through letters, memory, and silence.
Iftikhar was raised with care, dignity, and stability by his uncle and aunt, Syed Abdul Rashid Gilani and Syeda Sakina Gilani. Syed Abdul Rashid Gilani, the third son of Maulana Syed Mohammad Yasin Shah Gilani, was a government officer with literary and poetic interests. The couple had no children of their own and raised him with deep affection, giving him a stable upbringing and a sense of belonging.
Even then, the memory of his biological father remained quietly alive within him.
Despite everything, Syed Mohammad Yousuf Gilani never blamed anyone, not his wife, not her family, and not fate. He accepted life with patience and dignity.
In his final years, he made a legal will, declaring Syed Iftikhar Gilani the sole heir to his ancestral property. It was his final act of responsibility and love.
On 27 July 1979, he passed away far from his home and was laid to rest away from the place where his life had begun.
His life may appear simple, but it carries a deep truth.
He loved deeply.
He suffered silently.
He endured without complaint.
He was not defeated by people, but by circumstances.
Even today, his story lives on, in memory, in letters, and in the silence of emotions that never fade.
(Syed Majid Gilani is a Government Officer, storyteller, and opinion writer. He writes on family, faith, resilience, and moral values. He can be reached at syedmajid6676@gmail.com)
